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Download and print our Spring Clean Your Life worksheet. Go outside, or to a place away from the usual distractions, and jot down your goals for this next season in your life.
"To think creatively, we must be able to look afresh at what we normally take for granted." George Kneller Mad and sad are feelings not necessarily related, yet I am feeling both simultaneously. My friend Tony was a brilliant man who had a deep passion for all aspects of life. He was spiritual and felt connected with the ancient Gods of Hawaii. He was an advocate for safe and healthy foods, and a supporter of a healthy living lifestyle. Tony was active in many charitable foundations, donated more than his share of time and money to good causes, and was always concerned about the well being of his friends.
Raised in a strictly religious household, Tony’s childhood was a battleground which left him scarred. At a young age he left to be on his own, and made his way to Newport Beach and San Francisco where he lived an open, full, and successful life with several loving partners along the way. In business, Tony was a successful marketing executive and helped more than one company make millions, only to be left behind with the paltry scraps of an employee rather than as a partner. After his final big success, he earned enough to buy a beautiful ranch on Hawaii; only to be forced off of it a few years later by the un-breathable Vog and discovery the land he had purchased was ancient burial ground. It was a disappointment from which he never seemed to recover. Tony returned to southern California, but somehow couldn’t get traction again. He bounced from one missed opportunity to the next and in spite of the happy face he wore on the outside, he struggled financially—more than we knew—until the end. Everybody was surprised and why shouldn’t we be? He exercised, ate well, drank in moderation, and didn’t have any diseases or life-threatening conditions. Like this author, he wrestled with ‘those last 10 pounds’ and the third martini, but never allowed anything except his clear mind and spirit to guide him. To the rest of the world, it was Tony who always seemed to be the centered one; it was Tony we went to with questions. Love abounded in Tony’s life. He had friends all over the world who loved him deeply, and would surely do anything to help. Yet he struggled to find that one partner whom he could call “forever” and thus was soured on the prospects of living “happily ever after.” I believe Tony wasn’t able to let the love of many into his heart. It was all there for him, but he didn’t know how to open up and embrace it. Did he feel isolated? None of his friends would say so. I spoke with him at least three times a week, and I know others who spoke with him every day. Wouldn’t his isolation and pain show up, somehow? Can anyone be so good at hiding what is really going on inside his or her head? The way I see it, Tony was in pain, and unfortunately he couldn’t find his way clear. Why didn’t he reach out to his friends? Perhaps, because in doing so, meant admitting he was in a bad place. But if he needed money or was in deep debt, he could have declared bankruptcy. He was a smart guy and would have known his options but he either chose not to pursue, or didn’t see them. That was Tony; once he made up his mind, it was tough to change his thinking. He was living in pain: spiritual, amorous, and financial but who among us has not suffered these agonies? The latest political situation made him very angry and for the first time, I saw the pessimist in Tony as he watched environmental protections and civil rights erode. He didn’t want to live in a world with those agonies and saw the only way to ease his pains was to exit this life. I find this difficult to understand. If I have a hang nail, I call all of my friends and ask for help. I have no interest in putting on a face that isn’t real. If I want to laugh, I laugh. If I want to cry, I cry; my mother taught me both were okay. Yet that’s not the way Tony saw things. It was more than pain that steered him to suicide. Evidently he was done with life sooner than most of us would expect. We had talked about suicide many times, and I know he spoke of it with other friends as well. He believed in the freedom to choose when and where to die. We often joked when we were old—very old—and were about to be put into a nursing home, and were pooping in our pants, then we would throw a big party, drink the ‘magic tea,’ say goodbye, and go to sleep forever. But dammit, that was for when we were very old! It wasn’t supposed to be now, not when he was just 56 years young. He broke our agreement and for that I’m mad at him. By hanging himself, Tony ensured he would succeed. There’s no going back when you choose that route. You don’t have the potential second chance when the pills don’t work, or the tea isn’t strong enough. He clearly wanted to exit now so what’s the difference how he died? He’s gone and if this is how he wanted to go, then who am I to question him? I might answer that I simply didn’t have a chance to say goodbye. He didn’t wrap up all of the details of exiting, which included paying a few leftover debts and distributing his favorite belongings. But am I not his loving and loyal friend who would support him in his choice? How deep is my love if I question this, his last decision? I have no alternative but to say, “Go in peace and know you were loved. I’ll see you down the road.” As a life planning coach, I am an optimist and believe what my mother Julia taught me, “Where there’s life, there’s hope.” Tony could have crawled out of his financial and depression holes. It would have taken work, time, effort, and would be frustrating at times, but Tony was tired of the battle, which had started in his childhood and never quite seemed to end as he met one frustration after another in this world. In a Facebook posting Tony wrote, “Suicide is a Choice. It’s called My Determinant. I’ve accomplished and experienced EVERYTHING and Aspect of life that I chose to experience. And I’m not living life not on my terms. In the original 7 Tribes, there were herbs and a choice. I’ve had my fill, thank you, outta here. We MUST CHANGE THE DIALOG around Suicide. It is a FINE and ACCEPTABLE CHOICE. There is NO dishonor, no shame, no wrong. It is when a Soul says, “Thank you, and Goodbye.” I’m so Thankful to the Great Spirits of Robin Williams, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Prince, Whitney Houston et al. Such courage and grace and ease of exit. Let’s REFRAME this SHAME into an HONORING OF SELF AND SPIRIT upon Exit from this Time-Bounded, Planet of Chaos, EARTH.” I believe Tony’s suicide was a selfish choice not fully thought through. In making his pain disappear, the hurt shifted to his surviving friends who loved him. For in his death, which is the ultimate freedom from his burden, we the living are left hurting. We are left with unanswered questions. We don’t have the option to offer our love or money. We will forever wonder if we could have talked him into staying. When the television series The Sopranos ended, it created an uproar with its fan base. Tony Soprano was eating dinner in a restaurant chatting with friends when abruptly the screen went black. “What happened?” wondered the viewers. They called friends, they called the cable TV company, and even called the studio. “How could you do this to us? How could you just leave us without an explanation?” We felt unsatisfied with only the ability to speculate. We were left with too many unanswered questions. And so it is in real life with my dear friend Tony. How could you do this to me? How could you just leave without an explanation? Why didn’t you give me or your other friends a chance to help you? While Tony claimed he had achieved everything he wanted in this life, if he were still here, I would argue this point with him. I would coach him that he was not done, had more to create, more to learn, and more to share with those who loved him. You were destined to do more great things, my friend. Sure, you had achieved everything you wanted, but maybe you needed a new desire. Maybe he needed more time to discover his next passion. Maybe he had not set out to do enough. I could have helped him. Why didn’t he at least let me try? I have lost a great friend, a funny man, an intellect, and my almost-daily source of entertainment and inspiration. I feel cheated out of more time with him. I feel angry he did it this way as he broke our agreement to wait until we were old. I will never see him again, laugh with him again, whine to him or listen to his whining. I have a hole in my heart no one will ever be able to fix. And I am very sad. As I watch the screen go black, I can only say, “Go in peace and know you were loved. I’ll see you down the road.” The Growing Problem of Social Isolation Suicide is growing at an alarming rate, especially among elders. Would my friend still be here if he hadn’t felt isolated? Why did he feel this way if he was loved so much by so many? Isolation can take on many faces and I urge you to try to recognize if you or your friends feel alone. And if so, do something about it. Get up, get out, call someone, and cry out for help. Give a damn about it. Give a hug to someone, for the best way to be loved is to give love. And then open your heart and let the love in. Original Post Here Why are more and more retired Americans unhappy today than at any other time?
Maybe because they have to pinch pennies during their Golden Years, Or maybe because they spend too much time watching TV, and they feel disconnected from society, bored, and unsure what to do each day with their time. Depression, drug, and alcohol abuse are on the rise with retirees. It doesn’t have to be this way! What if!? What if you and other retirees were spending your days doing what you love? Larry Jacobson, a sought after non-financial retirement coach, has a solution for retiring Americans unsure of their next act. Larry’s incredible post-retirement life has been the subject of attention of Forbes, MSNBC, PBS, HUFFINGTON POST and many more. He knows just what you’re going through and how to change it. He coaches from experience. Larry’s experiences and unique insight are now available to you in Sail Into Retirement, a retirement coaching course that has helped many Americans find happiness and fulfillment in their Golden Years. Don’t let a life of solitude and loneliness hijack your senior years. Book a free Jumpstart Strategy session with Larry to discover your needs. Sail Into Retirement courses start at just $49. And, get Larry’s new eBook, The Top 5 Retirement Planning Secrets for free! Contact Me Today! When it comes to retirement, most people have a financial plan. But very few have a plan for what to do with their time.
Do you have a plan? You’ve spent a lifetime working at your career and it has rewarded you with fulfillment and purpose. Then suddenly, there’s no more workplace, no more purpose, and a big loss of identity. Millions of retirees are spending over 4.5 hours per day consuming meaningless content on TV, And too much time concerned about social disconnection, boredom. And a lack of goals and dreams because they think it might be too late to start fresh. This is a sad way to live your Golden Years. But it doesn’t have to be that way. You just need a retirement coach! A retirement coach will review your knowledge, experience, and passions to formulate a plan to build your life of purpose and fulfillment, Retirement is a new opportunity. Make your Golden years your best! Larry Jacobson, award-winning retirement coach at Buoy Coaching, has helped so many retirees discover their encore. He can do the same for you. Book a free Jumpstart Strategy session with Larry to discover your needs. Sail Into Retirement courses start at just $49. And, get Larry’s new eBook, The Top 5 Retirement Planning Secrets for free! Contact Me Today! Have you been thinking about your retirement future?
Over 10,000 Americans retire every day So you’re not alone, But after living a life of purpose and productivity, The reality of retirement can be frightening and confusing! Do you know what you’re going to do with your time all day? How will it feel to lose your career identity? Where will your fulfillment come from? Too many retired Americans are wastefully spending their days watching TV, Feeling disconnected from society. Did you know there’s a 40% higher chance of falling into clinical depression after retirement. And a 56% higher chance of suffering from a stroke if you can’t state your purpose in life after retirement. But retirement is not the End, it’s Opportunity! You just need a plan. Larry Jacobson, a leading author and thought-leader in non-financial retirement planning, has launched a new award-winning course designed to create your plan! Sail into Retirement helps you discover your passions, skills, and strengths and combines them with your experience and knowledge to redefine your retirement. Don’t let a lack of purpose hijack your Golden Years. Book a free Jumpstart Strategy session with Larry to discover your needs. Sail Into Retirement courses start at just $49. And, get Larry’s new eBook, The Top 5 Retirement Planning Secrets for free! Contact Me Today! In a special appearance JCCSF and Buoy Coaching present Larry Jacobson Redefining Retirement: What's Your Encore  This Transition Workshop is for you if:
~ Your parent(s) ~ Your retired neighbor Mrs. Kravitz, who is driving you crazy and clearly needs something to do. In any of these cases, you should attend and try to get them to attend as well.
Join award-winning author, speaker, circumnavigator, and sought-after non-financial retirement coach, Larry Jacobson for a rare hands-on workshop to help you determine your life direction in retirement. You have a plan for your finances; do you have a plan for time? What do you, or will you do all day? How will you spend your time? For starters, turn off that TV set! Based on the award-winning program, Sail Into Retirement, you’ll leave this event looking at retirement not as the end, but as opportunity for a new beginning. And you’ll leave with a plan in hand! Note: This is NOT a financial planning seminar. For financial advice, call your uncle Marvin or aunt Millie. San Francisco Jewish Community Center 3200 California St. San Francisco, CA 94118 TUESDAY, February 7, 2017 3 – 5 pm FREE to SFJCC members, non-members $25 and it includes wine & cheese so it’s almost free for you too. (What were you expecting, a roasted turkey dinner?) Parking under the building, nominal fee. Security is very tight at the SFJCC, please be prepared for a search of your vehicle’s trunk as you enter the garage. RSVP NECESSARY: Otherwise how will we know how much wine? Click here: SPACE IS LIMITED, LOCK IN YOUR SPACE TODAY! For further information about retirement coaching, Click here
  Today’s Retirement Situation—The Hard Truth
A majority of those approaching retirement have not thought about what happens after their career comes to an end because the idea of losing one’s identity is frightening. Many of life’s big transitions are scripted for us and follow an established progression from one stage to the next. In school, we progressed from kindergarten to elementary, from middle to high school and the next step for some was college. In the corporate world, you climb the ladder from supervisor to manager, director, VP, President, and then the C-suite. If you’re in the military, you rise through the ranks in proper order. But now that you are approaching an unscripted part of your life, you have the opportunity to direct what you will do with the rest of your life. Do you have a plan for what you’ll do with your time? Will it provide you with fulfillment and purpose? Read More It’s all the rage now. You’re supposed to find, follow and live your passion. I’m one of those who shout it from the rooftops. In fact, the closing words to my TED talk about fear are, “Let the passion drive you through any fear and obstacles that get in your way. Have confidence in your passion as a tool of strength. Passion is stronger than fear. Let passion rule your day.”
And in my coaching course, Sail Into Retirement™, Module One is all about finding your passion. But with so much attention on finding our passion, we sometimes fail to see the beauty and importance in other areas of our lives. Even in retirement. The Happiest Retirees The happiest retired people I know are interested in more than a lone passion. They lead a balanced life. Read More  Larry Jacobson, Author; Speaker; Retirement Transition Coach featured at the Commonwealth Club
Larry Jacobson describes how to make a meaningful and fulfilling transition from career to retirement. Jacobson is a non-financial retirement transition coach whose coaching program, "Sail into Retirement," is specifically designed to answer the question "What am I going to do with my time in retirement?" Not accepting that retirement is a time to stop growing, he describes how he coaches clients to discover untapped passions beyond their previous careers, and combines these passions with the knowledge from their vocations to build a plan of action for a retirement of fulfillment and purpose. Listen to Larry's speech here:  The old way of looking at retirement was to see an endless bliss where you would finally get to do nothing, with no pressure, deadlines, or work. Wrong! That was your parents’ definition of retirement. You’re of a different generation, someone who has reached a position of respect in your professional life, and want to contribute and feel appreciated.
It’s time to look at retirement in a whole new light. Not as a chance to stop, but as a chance to move forward in a direction you have always dreamed of going. It’s your chance to make your dreams come true. It’s your chance to live a life of true meaning, value, and solid purpose. Three Elements To a Fulfilling Retirement It may seem obvious but most new retirees have been so concerned with retiring from something, they have yet to consider what they’re retiring to, and thus the three parts to retirement.
Results from Theory or Experience? Non-financial retirement planning is a fairly new industry and since few coaches have actually experienced retirement, much of what is offered in the coaching world is based on theory. My theory is to teach only what I know from experience, which is supplemented by research and studies. While sailing my boat all the way around the world, I followed many a course marked by buoys. They led the way through dangerous shoals, between reefs, and provided a safe haven for mooring. The international buoy system is like a roadmap and if followed properly, will keep you in safe waters. Buoy Coaching provides safe and confidential guidance into a new phase of life as you redefine your retirement. Where to Start Your plan should start by identifying your true passions, which may be aligned with what you did for your career, or they may be new ones you haven’t yet had time to explore. Then look at how you can combine that passion with your skills, experience, and knowledge gained by a lifetime of work. This is the beginning of finding your own route to a retirement of fulfillment and purpose. Need a first step? Grab a copy of my new eBook, The Top 5 Retirement Planning Secrets. It’s free and you can get it by clicking here. When will you take the first step? |
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